What a weird feeling

I haven't been feeling like this in a bit. You know the kind of feelings you don't really know how to put words to? You know like the constant overflowing of nervousness and sadness but really it's nothing nervous or sad? I know right, i don't even know what i'm describing.

But i hate this feeling.

And it's been quite a while since I last felt like this.

I wished this June holiday never existed. I feel so detached from the world yet again there are so many things I need to settle and get done with.
Internship
Casting
FYP filming
Practicum web series
FYP for our client.

It's getting to me now and i'm really wondering where m i going or what am i doing with my life right now. Get this feeling away from me. I'm doubting my own ability to cope. I don't know how far i can hold on.

This might just be another late night rant. Good night, it'll be better tomorrow. I just have to keep telling myself this.

What if maybe i'm not that capable. 

What if i've overestimated myself. 

Why does everything i do, not seem right

I really just wanna prove people around me wrong. Or maybe to just prove myself wrong. I really just wanna make myself proud. 

If it's so hard, what should i be doing then. 

Please give me the strength to get through the month.

WHAT THE FROCK?!?!

Hi guys!!! (is anyone out there? Knock knock) Whatever the case is i'm here to promote WTF! WTF launched the first CNY preorder and we are super excited to be bringing in a lot of RED coloured clothing. Perfect for the new year isn't it? 

Don't worry if you aren't a red person, we have a lot of floral designed pieces as well! Do head down to SHOP WHAT THE FROCK to pick your favourite pieces. I personally really love a lot of pieces there and kept some of them for myself. We are still sourcing for more items so check back often! 

Thank you in advance,

Have a great year ahead!

Goodbye 2014, you've been great

Hi there guys, it's the first day (by the time this post is up it won't be the first day anymore) of 2015 and i'm finally getting down to crafting a blog post. I haven't been a very diligent blogger because laziness always gets in my way. That aside, here's me wishing all of you a …

HAPPY 2015 AHEAD HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU GUYS!!!!

In 2014, I've been through so many things, achieved a lot, gained so many experiences and definitely opened myself to a lot of new things. I won't say 2014 been smooth sailing because I had my ups and down and it's from there, I've learnt what's right and what's not. I've grown from these exposures and for that, i'm thankful. More thankful than words can ever describe.

2014 taught me a lot really. I've been through the toughest of school life, appreciated and grew stronger in terms of friendship and kinship, participated in so many activities, did what i loved and still loving and very importantly been blessed. God is good! Thank you.

I'd like to say it's also the best year so far because a lot of things happened and never in my wildest dreams would I have seen it coming. For the little little things in life, I'm so grateful for and I believe everything happens/ happened for a reason. Enough of me going on about 2014, here's what i did. I hope you'll enjoy. 

Let's go down memory lane (cues slow music)

Chinese New Year

CNY is one of my favourite and will always be one of the best festive. It's the time i get a lot of pineapple tarts and goof food i put on weight willingly. Kidding! It's definitely a time i get to meet people i don't always see. Like relatives/ distant relatives. (whispers) Also a lot of ang bao means money. (i'm very realistic ok) 

This year, i invited my friends over for open house and that was very fun. 

Agency Awards

Also known as the time you perform and bond with the y2 in exchange of the agency card. You have to work for what you want right (easy access to the agency) HAHA. It was fun tbh, performing together as a class and screwing the dress code. It was supposed to be the Oscars but we all turned up with ripped stockings and decked in full black. That's 05 for you. 

Turning 18

18 isn't really a big deal. I mean it's just an age and i didn't throw a huge party. Just dinner with the family and that was cool enough. 

Freshmen Orientation Programme

Lucky us got selected to be PALs for FOP and it was very fun meeting new faces from CASS, both people from our own batch (never seen a lot of them before FOP) as well as the freshmen. We were officially Y2 students so that was very cool too. FOP was a lot of fun fooling around and getting in River Safari for free (LOL) and of course making new friends. 

Certificate of Digital Film

As soon as Y2 started, we were informed that we got into CDF and i was super excited and happy! I mean being able to learn more about filming, there's nothing bad about that right. AND YAY TO NEW FRIENDS TOO. Hello Fatimah (Shafna) hahah

Jenesys 2.0

The highlight of my entire 2014 - being selected for Jenesys 2.0, a trip to Japan!!!!!! (screams)(run around)(jump). I got selected with Azra and we were both really lucky and excited for the trip! I'm sure the trip taught us a lot of things. I got a chance to experience how it's like to be part of a japan family during home stay and that was definitely my favourite part of the entire trip. I got to make A LOT of new friends too and that was cool. The trip definitely got me out of my comfort zone since i was travelling without my fam or cousins, i had to look out for myself and friends around! I'm so glad to be able to be part of the trip, experiencing new things and going to Japan! I've always wanted to visit Japan ok!!!! 

But that being said, we got into quite a bit of trouble because of the trip as well and that was not pleasant at all. The whole situation got out of hand… cray cray. 

Cathy Motion Pictures Award

We took a go in CMPA and although we didn't win anything or got into the finals blah blah blah, it was a crazy ride for three of us, having to make sure everything was completed in 79 hours! From planning, to casting, to filming, to editing then finally submitting it, I don't think i can even remember how we coped with the amount of pressure. But it was a great experience nonetheless.

Big Day Out 

Vanessa inivited Sum and i for BDO and it was very fun spending time with new friends and at the beach. And i got to catch up with my primary school friend too so there's really nothing bad about it. 

Driving

I also registered into driving classes and can't wait to get my license. No one told me/ warned me driving was going to be addictive…

Cafe Hopping

In 2014, we visited quite a number of cafes and spent a lot of money in them. Cafe food are so expensive yet so good…  So below are just some we visited. I can't wait to explore more cafes tbh. (Even though $$ fly)

1. Strangers Reunion 

There waffles are the bomb. I think i visited that place like three to four times.

2. CRAFT

3. Sunday Folks

4. Butter Studio 

(till now, i still can't get their name right. I always call them butter factory…)

5. Stateland

Because Danielle was working there, we visited her during work! And the bosses very kindly allowed us to film sisterhood there. 

Once Again

We were very lucky to be able to film at Stateland. The bosses were such nice people! And also thank you to our actor and actress you both did a fantastic job! I won't say it's a very good film because i'm sure we still have LOTS and LOTS of room for improvement. Here's to a better film next! 

My Bella What The Frock 

Rach and I started our very own blogshop. We are still starting out but we definitely want to see a growth in business in future! I'm super glad to be working with her because she's always so on time and efficient when it comes to handling blogshop stuff. so thank you sweetheart! Do support us alright, it'll mean so much! 

Now renamed as What The Frock or WTF, we are in the midst of creating a better site and bringing in a lot more amazing items!!! Keep your eyes glued you guys! 

Halloween

It's always fun to dress up and be a character on halloween. So this year, i decided to go as Jigsaw! 

Here's the blogpost: Hi, I wanna play a game

Adult Playground

If you don't already know what Adult playground is, it's simply just a playground with 22 crazy activities only for adults - 18 and above. And, i signed up as a volunteer because i wanted to lay but was not willing to fork out $80 plus! Plus, we were paid to volunteer and free t-shirt and more friends. I'm sounding more like an aunty i'm sorry. Adult Playground was super fun i mean i enjoyed playing the games and getting tanned, like really tanned, meeting the Sam Willows (omgomgomg) and most importantly, making new friends!!! Everyone there were so so so friendly and fun group of people, i'm quite sure we all bonded over that nerf super soaker thing. Can't wait for 2015 adult playground i hope the have it i wanna volunteer again!!!!

(I absolutely love this picture, we look like we are genuinely having a lot of fun.)

SOSD Flagday

This year, i also volunteered for SOSD flag day because i really wanna do something for the Singapore Specials aka stray dogs. (Strays are not very nice to say or pleasant to the ears, so Singapore Specials it it) I love love love dogs, everyone should know by now and it's no surprise i would be involved! This time i asked rach along and i'm glad she agreed!

Asia Television Forum and Market 

I'd say we were very lucky to be given this amazing opportunity to attend ATF for three days straight (means missing class) and gaining experiences from the event. We got to meet the FungBros too and NOC! Was definitely an eye opener for all of us, just seeing how the industry actually works!

Youth Impact Camp

Definitely another highlight of the year. Here's my pretty in-depth post on dayre, i'll do a proper blogpost soon ok promised 

Live by faith, not by sight

Christmas Bash/ Winter Wonderland

We attended Christmas Bash at Van's church and it was very fun! The christmas decos and lightings were all so pretty! Also, i visited Garden by the Bay and can i say and say again just how pretty Christmas lightings are.. They just make you so happy. I'm sure i'm not the only one feeling like that ok!

Christmas Countdown

Cosuin got himself a girlfriend she is so adorable lol! Anyway, we had christmas countdown and gifts exchange like every year just that this year, we countdown in town. We definitely got our fair share of being sprayed with snow foam. It's crazy how the atmosphere is orchard is. Fun is fun but very scary too. I've never walked down orchard road feeling that afraid we were going to be the next target of snow spray. 

Last but definitely not the least, 

SG50 Countdown

You ask me about it and i'm just gonna yell BIG BANG into your ears whether you like it a not. I'm still having post countdown redrawal symptoms and i miss BB like crazy. I wanna see them perform again. It was spectacular and amazing and the atmosphere was just … i don't even know how to describe but i was jumping on the chair and yelling and cheering and screaming especially when GD and TOP appeared on screen or was their part. I love GTOP so much and BB (CRAZY PSR) i wanna attend their concert… 

Other than big bang, the countdown was amazing still because of Big bang. Hahah kidding, i love how singapore is turning 50 so here's to Singapore greater prosperity and growth and the country being more inclusive and amazing alright! I still love big bang. 

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE BEST PART EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

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BIG BANG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I CAN'T BREATHE. 

(It's pathetic tho, we have to snap the screen)

I hoped you enjoyed the glimpse of my 2014 as much as i enjoyed the entire year. Whether you've been part of this amazing journey or not, i'm just as thankful. I'm so grateful for everything and everyone that have come and go, thank you to those who believed in me and stayed and the love you've showered me for the past one year. It has been amazing and I just want 2015 to be the smoothest for all of you. Go out and live life, make lots of resolution and most importantly make the best out of it. 

For myself, i've kicked the making new year resolutions because a lot of time i get lose mid into the year and it completely loses it's meaning for me. But this year, i want nothing else but to be a better person than i was before. To be more giving and accepting. I want to be a better person to my family, friends and myself. Love yourself more because if you don't, there no one that is going to. 

With that said, happy new year guys. Cheers to a better year ahead

I'm so blessed.